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I feel like I'm ready to explode. Everything just goes by so slowly. I want to go. I want to start doing something with my life. I got the feeling last night that Reid feels similarly from our conversation last night. i want him to be able to achieve everything he wants to, and I guess I'm impatient for him to achieve all he wants to as well. I'm really not a patient person when it comes to waiting. When it comes to people, I can be patient, but waiting, no.

I know the best way to speed up the process is to do something with my time, like homework, which will help me achieve my goals, but it just seems so pointless and it's so difficult for me to concentrate on.

I just have to get out of this place. I'm so sick of this intermediate time between summer and spring, too. If it was summer, I could get over this feeling by going kayaking, or doing something outside, but I'm stuck in here.

I want to go SOMEWHERE. The first place that pops into my mind is to see Reid or Zen (actually Zen comes first because I don't want to distract Reid from everything he has to do) but really, I'd be happy just about anywhere that is not NH.

BLAH.

I've been trying to think of how to get rid of this feeling but I can't really come up with anything. For a minute, I thought about cutting but I really feel I shouldn't do that, especially with things between me and Reid being the way they are right now; I don't want to make things worse.

(and yes, Reid, I know, I referred to you in the third person in this entry, but it is in fact meant for you to read.)